:: Ned Harper's Blogger ::

:: Monday, June 17 ::

Still no luck in finding S. I'm heading east. Whatever they gave me at KNI is going to burn them in the end... heh heh! I stopped off at a library to do some research. Don't ask, but I found that KNI has a connection to something called the MRDT Foundation. There were a couple of names associated with it, none I really recognized: Eleanor Allen, John Cruikshank, Charles Marks. I can't find anything about them. They also have a center of productivity. It doesn't look too suspicious, but I'm pretty sure that they have financial ties to both the Trelles Foundation and then through them to KNI.

There was also something that I dug up about a Samuel Rosen in New York. I'm going to go there to check it out. Don't ask how I found out-- I don't know yet-- but in one of Gregardia's files there is a section about a Michael Faraday. Roger mentioned something about testing a new drug and remote viewing. That might explain why I was able to read his file from here. He also mentions something called Lab 9 in new york. But I also saw something else important in the file, about someone of something called M'kultra, which apparently had something to do with the founding of KNI. There was just a darkness around that. Looks like the next leg of my trip is going to be NY.

I'm finding that with practice the flashes are getting easier to control. Theyre not all so sudden and unpredictible. I can almost tell when they're coming. Its also easier for M to contact me. Last night she was trying to tell me about what she's doing in england right now. She hasn't told me everything and there's tons that she's hiding from me. I guess she's involved with some group over there that is investigating precognition-- a popular topic these days. ;-) I got a couple things when she was talking to me-- I saw a couple different objects, a pyramid, and a circle of about six people standing with lit candles between them in a darkly lit room.

There's something dark here. I can't see what it is, but I feel like somethings blocking me, getting in the way. I wonder if a precog could really have the power to block anothers abilities to see. What are they up to? I just know that I have to get to M; she and that group seem to have more answers than anyone else. Let's hope I don't get killed.
:: Ned 22:38 [+] ::
...

Don't have much time. I started trying to find S today. My brain should be good for something at least. I also managed to find this file. I think I'm going to go home home. M, if you're reading this, I'm going to try to get to you.
:: Ned 01:23 [+] ::
...

The last few days have been really crazy. I haven't had much time to post but I really think this needs to get out. A lot of other people are saying it, so I'm saying it too: Don't trust anyone. I've been having a lot of dreams in the past few days. I know it's the drugs, my mom keeps sending me that. I wish I had listened.

It started on the 11th. I left CAR and agreed to go to TX. I had a funny feeling about it. (Then again I haven't really trusted any of these people. I know what they want.) There was a really strong pull to go to Exocog instead. Glenstone been really pushing me to join the C study, but I know it was no good. There's just a bad vibe about Exocog. Can't explain it or anything, but I just know something's not right there. There's just soemthing about the way he writes that sets my nerves off. Like yesterday I got this flash about being underwater and something sinking. I got that horrible wet feeling again. Ugh!

The minute I got to the main building at K I knew something was up. There were these men in black suits/hats and glasses (real brooks bros stuff-- lol!) and they parked my car and took me inside. The initial interview was a little weird. The lady asked me a few questions about my visions and did some Brixtol tests and stuff. Pretty standard. Then she asked me if I knew anything about a Project ST. I said no, and she sort of smiled. It was one of those I dont want you to see. Try hiding THAT from a precog! But she was writing the whole time. She was really interested in the time distortion I experienced and when I experienced it, and how disoriented I got when it happened. That lasted for about three hours. (UGHHHH!!!) But then they took me to my room. I tell ya, the whole time I was there I felt like I was being watched or something. It was like I was a rat in a cage and they were observing every move I made. That whole night I kept sensing someone trying to get through to me. Probably mom. But everything felt blocked. It didn't make any sense.

The next day (yesterday) they gave me a injection. They said it wouldn't do anything bad, but I might feel a little funny. Boy did I ever! I thought my head was going to explode. I must have passed out because four hours later I came too. my head felt really clear-- too clear. But from that moment on I was watching everything that went on. They gave me a schedule of events for the day. Here's sort of how it went:

Time	Workshop	Speaker	Room

14:00	PSE1249: Focusing the precog mind	Walter Redgin	M203b

15:30	TCA1005: Temporal theory	Hallën Lawdrüf	K132

17:00	Break

18:00	PSI3205: Basic telekinesis	Roger Gregardia	D490c

19:30	PSY1522: Psychological effects of the paranormal sense	Jane Neis	K254

I think that was about all we could handle for the day. But that night while I was lying in bed all of a sudden I couldn't control my mind anymore. I kept seeing all of these wild images, and I couldn't tell what was what. Was I seeing the past, or the present, or the future? It all moved so fast. I know what they're trying to do. They're trying to make us accelerate. I can't do it.

So this morning I left. It was about 4am and nobody was around. I packed up my stuff. THey parked my car way out in the sticks, so I don't think anybody saw me. I'm on the road right now. I'm trying to get in touch with D or R but haven't had any luck so far. I keep seeing the guys in black behind me, but I might just be hallucinating. The line between reality and vision is getting blurrier. I have to find out what they gave everyone, because I think everyone flipped out yesterday. It's amazing I'm clear enough to write this.
:: Ned 05:36 [+] ::
...

This morning was gray, wet and cold. Not so good. My head feels light and weird like a balloon full of too much gass. I went into work and Thatcher said I have the day off. He didn't say why but he doesn't need to. It's not like I can't tell. Not like I was born yesterday. I tried ttalking to Kathy, that girl at work. She's been watching me these past few days. Thursday she was real interested in me being a precog, asking me all sorts of questions about seeing visions. She asked a lot of questions about one dream I had, the one about the spider web with five points. She didn't ask any mroe questions after that but she just nodded her head and smiled kinda funny and said "thats interesting" and she walked off and didn't say anything else.

So today she comes up to me and asks if I had any more deams. I say no, but I been reading this interesting book by Algernon Monteverdi-- a 16th century prophet or so they say. She says the same thing and walks away. A little while later I see her talking to this man I've never seen before and he then as soon as he saw me watching them he left. She went back to work and I havent heard a thing since.

THe meds are going better. They don't bother me so much. I'm finding that I can control the flashes a little more. I feel like with some practice I could totally control them instead of them being so temporally random. Maybe if I get some more help I could learn to look at different times in the past and the future. That's one thing KNI promised to help with. THey're doing a study on tuning precog senses and remote viewing. If I could master those two I could be set. Who knows. I'm tempted to go with Matt just because I have this gut feeling that I'm supposed to go. I try to look into the future to see where I am a few months from now but it's blank. Maybe I'm dead. Maybe these meds finally kill me off.
:: Ned 05:18 [+] ::
...

As soon as I woke up this morning, I checked my email, and there was the counterproposal from Krendal Nyll Institute. I had been expecting it as soon as I got the letter from Grundstein. It's pretty much the same story-- join our research firm, there's plenty of benefits, no risk to you. I think every precog can quote one of these from memory... heh, little joke.

There was a message from my friend Randal when I got home from work today. He left a text message on my phone too. It was a little weird. He was calling from his car on his cell phone. He thought these guys from some foundation were following him. I couldn't hear him very clearly. Sounded like he said to stop taking the meds, they were bad. Then the line went dead. I tried calling but there was no answer.

Here's the message from Krendal:

From: Roger Gregardia, krendalnyllinstitute@lycos.com
Date: Sat Jun 8 11:46 AM
To: Ned Harper, stranierolontano@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Your presence is requested...

Mr. Harper,

It has come to our attention that you have received an offer from Grundstein to participate in their studies. I would like to extend you a counteroffer to come and study at Krendal Nyll Institute. While Danne's proposal was no doubt very appealing, I feel it is my obligation to inform you that their research methods and philosophies are a bit questionable. Danne is very young and brilliant, but he is inexperienced and egotistical. He means well, but his research is self-serving and expedient.

KNI is interested in applying your particular abilities in a vocational manner. We are interested in finding ways in which they can be integrated into everyday social, cultural, personal and corporate activities.  No doubt you feel like an outcast, like you don't have a place in the world. We want to change the world and make a place for you and others like you. Change cannot come without revolution, and we would like you to be a part of that revolution.

We are currently working on several studies which we believe you would fit very well in. Utilizing the skills of our precogs here, we were able to put together a profile of your talents and abilities. We have narrowed down the possible studies you could be involved in to four. The first is a study in forensic precognition, the second is precognitive medicine, the third is a remote viewing study, and the fourth is a study in tuning the precognitive sense. If you are interested in any of these, please contact me. We look forward to hearing from you, and to working with you at KNI.

Also, in addition we have reopened one of our older research facilities in Texas. Our current location is in Boston at the moment, but within several weeks I will be moving to our Dallas location, and Henry Piltinton, the current Associate Director of KNI, will be taking over as Executive Director of KNI Boston. I would encourage you to attend Texas. We will cover transportation and living costs.


Sincerely,

Roger Gregardia,
President and CEO
Krendal Nyll Institute
5561 Senso di Luce Road,
Dallas, TX 75399

Henry Piltinton,
Executive Director
Krendal Nyll Institute
61389 Knell Drive
Boston, MA 02163

:: Ned 20:53 [+] ::
...

Today's a little better. Maybe my bodys getting used to this junk. Or not. Who cares. I got a weird email today from this guy who introduced himself as a representetive from this thing called the Grundstein institute:

From: Robert Danne rdanne@grundsteinfound.org
Date: Fri Jun 7 03:52:48 AM
To: Ned Harper stranierolontano@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Participation in precognitive research studies

Dear M. Harper,

I believe you are aware of what I am talking about, so I will not bore you with unnecessary exposition about who we are and what we wish to ask of you. Your mother has been a partner with our firm for many years, and for the last several months she has been particularly worried about you. In fact, she is aware (as I am) that you are taking certain medications now which are particularly hazardous to your health.

We are also aware of your affiliations with the Carmel Research Group. I would advise you now to look into participating in studies at the Grundstein institute. We do not treat precogs as lab rats, nor will we perform any experiments on you that you are not willing to participate in yourself. We will inform you of all procedures that are involved in the studies that we will perform, and all of your living expenses will be provided for here at our facility.

M. Harper, I cannot make decisions for you; you are the only one who can do that. However, you ought not to take the advice of myself or your mother lightly. We are both experienced in dealing with precogs, and we believe that our Institute will be a good fit for you.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Robert P. Danne,
Executive Director, the Grundstein Institute (UK)
:: Ned 21:57 [+] ::
...

It's only morning and already I screwed up. No details here but I want to die. Yeah its stupid to want to die over failing but I feel totally worthless right now. Maybe its still the meds, but it feels awful. ITs almost enough to make me stop taking them. But these docs keep saying to keep taking them, you'll see. Theyre probably lying, but if your rich you can afford to get away with it.

Why do these things have to happen to me? Why can't I be normal like everyone else? Why can't I just go through life and not have to deal with all these problems that nobody else has to. Its not fair. Nobody else feels like a freak, nobody else gets called a freak. Except for other people like me. Is there a place in the world for people like me? Outcasts? Probably not. That's the way this stuff usually swings.

My mom tried to contact me today. I guess she sensed that I was feeling down. She always could. I could tell when she was in trouble too. My dad didn't really understand us. Nobody really did. But it was easier for her because she was blind. I had no excuse. I looked totally normal. Still do. But everybody knows somehow. They say its the eyes. Maybe they're right. Maybe mom was blind because she was so sensetive that her senses couldn't keep up with her mind. But I only caught a little glimpse of her today. She's been getting fainter every day. She's fading. Well hey, she's almost ninety years old! It's time she started, she was always so strong. Maybe its better when you start to go. Life is just an easy ride to the bottom from there. You been struggling your whole life and then at the end you just sort of let go and let yourself just coast.

It's weird, I keep seeing my dad. He looks sad and confused like he always did when he was home. He never opened up. He would sometimes with mom, but he never let me in. He never let me read him, emotionally or mentally. We didn't understand each other. Does everybody have stories like that? Is this a normal thing? He wouldn't have been so afraid of me if I hadn't been born a freak. Nobody gets it.

I need to stop taking this crap. It's killing me. I can feel it.
:: Ned 17:16 [+] ::
...

Not a whole lot to say today. Everything's just sort of blah. It's probably this new med that they got me on. It makes everything dark. Blacker than usuel. I don't really like this, but I figure what they hey maybe it will do something a couple years down the road.

I talked to this girl at work today. I told her about being a precog and she was all like, oh cool, and you know. I didn't ask her out or anything. It's not like I can say, "hey baby I see you in my future, do you see me in yours?" How desperate am I? It's not like I NEED anybody in my life right now, even if it would be nice. She asked me if it was weird being a freak and being weird, and I said something like, "it's better than being normal," or some bull like that. This med is making me really loopy. More than usual.

I woke up about five thirty this morning with chills. Like I slept in a full bathtub or something. I was totally dry (and mostly naked), but I felt soaking wet. Keep having this weird vision of being in water and drowning, but it's not me. It is me, but it's like being on the outside looking in. I don't know what they're doing to me, but there's about five weeks left in this study.

This one girl, Sally disappeared today. There was that other guy, Nate the other day who went missing. There have been a bunch of precogs in my group that just gone awol. I heard its happening in other groups too. Nobody knows why, and if they do they're not telling us.

I really hate being stared at. Its like being a caged animal. I feel like those guys in the jackets are watching every move I make. It's only an hour and a half a day, but hell it's like being locked up in a rubber room with no corners. Being precog is a curse! I can't stand it anymore. It's either going to end with me being free from this "gift" or me being dead. It's the meds talking but it feels real right now.

I want to get out.

Then I might get a girl. A normal girl.
:: Ned 06:02 [+] ::
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